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UNEQUALLY
YOKED: ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS OR SOMETHING ELSE?
Scripture is replete with difficult-to-understand passages that are often misinterpreted, misapplied, and perverted for personal gain. One such instance is the Apostle Paul’s second letter to the Church at Corinth. Paul instructs the Church at Corinth (and, thus, all believers to follow), “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Cor 6:14)[1] While it might be simple to focus on the first part of the command (not to be yoked with unbelievers), all aspects of the verse stem from the second aspect—the lack of commonality between believers and unbelievers. Perhaps one of the most misunderstood and certainly misinterpreted verses in the Bible, when examined from a broader approach, the meaning becomes clearer and it is not related to romantic relationships, as is commonly suggested.
Meaning of “Unequally Yoked”
While
pervasively applied to romantic relationships (especially marriages), Paul’s
instructions in 2 Corinthians 6:14 should be considered in broad terms and
within the context the Apostle Paul presents. For 2 Corinthians 6:14, scholars
often notice an imprecise digression from its broader meaning and application.
“An outline which avoids such digressions, if a reasonable one can be found,
would seem to be preferable…[2] To begin with, 6:11-13 and
7:2-4 form an oft-noted unity, so that if the intervening verses are not an
interpolation, then 6:11-7:4 forms an aba' pattern itself.”[3] Verse 14 rests within
Paul’s defense of his own ministry and authority and (more specifically) his
plea for the Corinthians to separate themselves from evil. “This section brings
Paul’s argument in 2:14–7:1 to its culmination by giving the second, concrete
application of what it will mean for the Corinthians to “widen [their] hearts”
toward Paul (6:13) amid the current controversy in Corinth.”[4] For one to extract only
verse 14 and run with unsupported theories would be wrong.[5] Therefore, observing
Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians should (usually) be perceived broadly rather than
narrowly.
This command, which is Paul’s main
point in 6:14–7:1, will be restated in different words at the end of the
section (7:1). To be “unequally yoked” is to be “hitched up” or even crossbred
with another animal who is not the same (Gk. heterozygeō; the related
adjective is found in Lev 19:19; see also Deut 22:10, though the word does not
occur there). It is, thus, an image for being allied or identified wrongly with
unbelievers. In context, it refers especially to those who are still rebelling
against Paul within the church, whom Paul now shockingly labels unbelievers (he
clearly thinks it possible that some are [2 Cor 13:5], though he hopes not),
but the principle has wider application to other situations where (as with
animals yoked together) one person’s conduct and direction of life strongly
influences or controls the other’s.[6]
Such is the context of 2
Corinthians 6 (i.e., Paul is admonishing Christians within the Church at
Corinth to remove themselves from evil so that they are not interspersed with
the sinful ways of the world and, therefore, their testimony is misperceived). To
do so, the image of a yoke is employed. A yoke is a heavy wooden frame used to
harness two work animals together (e.g., oxen). The problem is that if two
different animals are harnessed together—such as an ox and a donkey—they pull
in different directions. Therefore, the work fails, and the animals get hurt.
In using the image of a yoke, Paul’s lesson here then is to show that a
believer and an unbeliever have different core values, directions, and
spiritual masters.
Even Jesus gives guidelines on how his followers are to live their lives. Jesus teaches that people cannot serve both God and money (Matt 6:24). Moreover, rather than living as the world lives, God’s people are to avoid the ways of the world but be transformed by the renewing of their minds (Rom 12:2). Being unequally yoked then equates to believers who do not look like believers but rather like the world.[7] In its most fundamental sense, 2 Corinthians 6:14 is a call of separation rather than an inferred avoidance of romantic relationships with unbelievers. 2 Corinthians 6:14, therefore, is an order to flee from sin rather than an edict not to pursue relationships with unbelievers.
What
Does the Life of a Christ-Follower Look Like?
Since
2 Corinthians 6:14 should be understood as an indictment on Christians who
choose to live life as the world does, to further discover the meaning of the
text, an assessment of how Christ-followers should live must be fulfilled. In
his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul claims that he has become all things
to all people (1 Cor 9:22). Paul also instructs Christians to avoid using their
personal freedom in a way that pressures or leads another believer to violate
their own conscience and sin (Rom 14:13, 2 Cor 8:9). The command to avoid
causing others to stumble is replete in Scripture including in the teachings of
Jesus who says, “…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to
sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his
neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt 18:6).
Furthermore,
John warns against loving the worldly desires of the flesh, the desire for
things, and the pride of life (1 John 2:15-17). Without evidence of a changed
life, professing Christians hold no substance to their claims of Jesus. Paul’s
teaching here then should be a weighty order, as believers hold the serious
task of avoiding even the appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:22). The church is an
extension of the character of God (in Christ). One who is changed by the Spirit
of God does not have anything in common with one who is not a Christian. Thus, the
life of a Christ-follower reveals such evidence.
Where
then do Paul’s instructions apply? To answer such a question, it is not wholly
wrong to consider relationships and (yes) even those of a romantic nature
including marriage, but this type of application is too narrow, for believers
should consider all aspects of life in the command offered in 6:14. While
Paul’s words do not only apply to relationships, they are certainly a part of
the necessary consideration. Broadly, believers should consider not only
romantic relationships but also close friends, business relationships, and even
circumstances surrounding such (e.g., casual get-togethers, parties, etc.). The
context of 6:14, however, is more circumstantial than relational (i.e., the
reason believers and unbelievers should not be yoked together is because of—a.
the influence unbelievers have on God’s people and b. the appearance of evil
that proceeds from the circumstances within which Christians will almost
certainly find themselves).
Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians call the people of God to a dealignment from the ways of the world. Paul elsewhere claims that the sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, revilers, and swindlers will not see the Kingdom of God (1 Cor 6:9-10).[8] The life of a Christ-follower then reflect that of God the Son—Jesus Christ. One whose life does not mirror Jesus justifies judgment against themself. Without fruit (or evidence), it is impossible to conclude that one is a Christian. Therefore, while Paul warns believers against being yoked with unbelievers, the command is circumstantial more than relational. While believers are expected to exercise holiness, unbelievers are expected to exercise unrighteousness and sin. Being yoked with unbelievers could have dire impacts on believers, for what do believers have in common with those who are controlled by the world and, therefore, evil?
Common Misunderstandings
The
most common misunderstanding of 2 Corinthians 6:14 is that the text refers to
romantic relationships (especially marriage). Nonetheless, as already alluded, Paul’s
words should be received more broadly (i.e., circumstantially in the impact
unbelievers likely have on believers). A fundamental way of determining that
Paul is not specifically speaking of believers and unbelievers in romantic
relationships is his command in his first letter to the Corinthians (1 Cor
7:12-16). If a believer has a spouse who does not believe, and that spouse
consents to live with them, the believer must not divorce them. In the text, Paul
explains that the unbelieving partner is sanctified (set apart for God’s
purposes) through the believing spouse, and the children of the union are holy
rather than unclean. This does not mean the unbelieving spouse is automatically
saved, but rather that the home is blessed and brought under God’s special
influence.[9]
While the text of 2 Corinthians 6:14 surely has broad applications, believers must examine themselves considering what a Christian should look like and how they should live (i.e., wisdom should be sought and exercised). While not totally prohibited, believers’ investments in unbelievers commonly cause problems.[10] The message here aims to reevaluate the meaning of 2 Corinthians 6:14. As such, the text necessitates a more far-reaching approach.
Is Paul’s Instruction in 2 Corinthians
6:14 an Overarching Mandate?
Paul’s
instructions in 2 Corinthians 6:14 present not an overarching mandate but a
subjective call to wisdom in objective situations (i.e., Christians are charged
with employing godly wisdom in all situations including their relationships).
It is not wrong to have relationships with unbelievers, but God’s people must
be careful because if not advanced in the Spirit’s power and wisdom, unbelievers
seemingly have a greater impact on Christians than Christians have on them. Paul’s
instructions here, therefore, are not an overarching mandate to avoid relations
with unbelievers but rather a stark warning of the contrast that exists between
believers and unbelievers. While not sinful in itself, romantic relationships
between believers and unbelievers are often difficult and spawn manifold
problems. Therefore, Christians should be careful and exercise wisdom in all
their relationships and dealings. As such, the glory of God is always the
issue—nothing else matters. Truly, Christian relationships should reflect and
consider the authentic marriage that is the church and the Lamb, which, if not
modeled, is counterfeit and (at best) forged.
What
nation on earth is like your people?
You,
God, came to redeem us as a people for yourself. You have confirmed us to
yourself, to be a people for you forever; and you, Lord, have become our God.
Wonder, O heavens, and be moved, O earth, at this great thing!
The tabernacle of God is with us, and you will dwell with us, and we will be your people; and you yourself will be with us, and be our God.[11] Amen.
[1]
All biblical references are taken from the English Standard Version (ESV) of
the Bible unless otherwise noted.
[2]
Craig Blomberg, “The Structure of 2 Corinthians 1-7,” Criswell Theological
Review 4.1 (1989): 10.
[3]
Blomberg, 13.
[4] Scott J. Hafeman, note on 2
Corinthians 6:14, in ESV Study Bible, eds. Lane T. Dennis et al.
(Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2008), 9626.
[5]
Scripture should be viewed as a metanarrative with all cultural and contextual
elements considered.
[6] Hafeman, 9626.
[7]
While this meaning may surely be applied to romantic relationships, the
underlying purpose of Paul’s instructions in 6:14 is to call for a distinction
between Christians and unbelievers (i.e., those who live according to the
world).
[8]
While Paul’s list includes these specific sins, they should be understood as
complete; nor, should anyone assume that one failure in these areas constitutes
eternal damnation; rather, the sins represent patterns of life in which those
involved have damned themselves for lack of repentance.
[9] If
the unbelieving spouse chooses to separate or depart because of the faith, the
believer is not bound in such circumstances. God calls believers to live in
peace, and abandonment by the unbeliever allows for (not mandates) the
dissolution of the marriage.
[10]
While Paul does not direct believers to completely separate themselves from
unbelievers—which would be detrimental to the church’s witness to an onlooking
world—, in a wide-ranging manner, the Apostle calls for wisdom (e.g., wisdom in
romantic relationships, business dealings, and close loyalties) and the
avoidance of evil’s appearance. Therefore, it is the opinion expressed in this
text that in itself,
pursuing a romantic relationship with an unbeliever is not a sin, but possesses
a strong inclination toward problems.
[11] Joseph Alleine, “God Has Married His People,” in Piercing Heaven: Prayers of the Puritans, ed. Robert Elmer (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2019), 91.
