We often say that we are not judgmental, that we love
everyone, but when that is put to the test, it quickly becomes clear it is not
the case at all. I, for one, have experienced judgment and have judged so I know
what it is like to be on both sides of the coin. Most people will never go
through 10% of what I have gone through in my life, and I do not wish that
anyone ever does. However, I believe there is purpose in the difficulties I
have had in my life (some of them my fault and some not). We all make mistakes,
and perhaps the big reason for my difficulties, particularly in the past 3
years, is that I am now more merciful and compassionate than I ever have been
and more so than most people are. I have apparent problems with society,
American culture, government, and the church, but nevertheless, although I will
never understand the fullness of God’s mercy, I understand it better than most
people ever will because I have received it so much more than most. For that, I
am thankful. Some people are meant to share their full story, and some aren’t.
I don’t know that I’ll ever have the freedom to share my full story, but I
believe I will. God is constantly working on me so if I screw up, just know
that I make mistakes just like you. We are all one choice away from running our
lives. I’ve learned that the more we screw up, the more we are merciful and
loving to others, especially those who are outcasts. Perhaps what all of us
need is to make drastic mistakes in order to know what love and mercy is. I
know that is not what we all need, but I also know from experience that the
effect of mistakes is mercy. On this road toward perfection (which we will not
achieve), let us all take time to love everyone including those who most think
do not deserve it.
