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SELF-LOVE: THE ANTITHESIS OF THE GOSPEL
An increasingly common
fancy in modern society suggests that self-love is right. Statements such as,
“I know my worth,” or even something that proposes the term itself like, “I am
focusing on loving myself,” are seemingly prevalent. The idea, while alluring,
however, does not reflect the gospel of Jesus Christ. In fact, such a concept
is antithetical to the gospel and should be avoided by Christians. A rebuttal
might ask, “Does not Christ want us to love ourselves? Is not self-love merely
viewing ourselves the way God views us?” While sincere questions, the gospel
message answers such contentions with stark and often difficult truth: truthful
in that the gospel realizes humanity’s dire state and difficult because such a
realization demands justice, which certainly is not the mercy of God (except
that his wrath was poured on his Son Jesus Christ); thus, God’s love, mercy,
and grace are consummately underserved for anyone.[1]
To appropriately analyze the absolute incorrect perpetuation of self-love, one must consider the opposing views which subsist in society: 1) the worldly idea of self-love and 2) what should be considered Christ-honoring love,[2] as the two offer diametrically competing concepts; yet, the two concepts are not both right, for only Christ-honoring love permeates the gospel message. The world’s idea of self-love, however, offers only deadlocks and destruction. Human nature enjoys being in control and struggles with the truth that a loving God is also just so reality is that he would be unequivocally right in punishing every single radically depraved person (i.e., everyone) in utter and eternal torment. To conclude such a truth, both concepts should be considered: self-love and Christ-honoring love.
Compare
and Contrast of Self-Love and Christ-Honoring Love
Self-love is not a new
concept, but it has seemingly increased in popularity in recent decades. The
idea of hedonism[3] comes to mind. The modern
self-love movement is surely appealing to the human mind, but when stood
against the gospel of Christ, it falls severely short. This message will
examine nine proposals born from the school of self-love and then the opposing
truth of the gospel for each proposal.
Self-love teaches that happiness
is found when people are their true selves. Besides the ambiguity of what that
means, Christ-honoring love says that true joy is only in Christ and people
live within their new nature when they deny themselves to follow Jesus.
Christ-honoring love opposes the world’s demand to seek human pleasure and
abandons all claims that anything in the world may satisfy more than Jesus.
Jesus is better always.
Self-love
proposes that the ultimate goal is to find happiness. One who is wise, however,
does not seek happiness, for happiness is fleeting and may be removed in an
instant. Rather, true joy is only in Christ. Christians live within their
intended new nature when they deny themselves for the sake of Jesus; any other
posture counters the nature of a believer. By this point, a theme should be
noticed—namely that believers most reveal their new nature by denying self
(e.g., their own pleasures and experiences) for the sake and glory of Jesus
Christ.
Self-love
teaches that love of self results in freedom from insecurities. The gospel,
however, counters—it is impossible to love ourselves enough to rid ourselves of
sin. Only Jesus can satisfy.
Self-love
also submits that happiness is the goal of human life. Unfortunately, Scripture
never teaches that God wants anyone to be happy; yet, how often do people use
such an excuse to justify sin (e.g., abandoning a marriage or living a life
free from the so-called restrictions of holiness)? Truly, the ultimate goal is
to know Christ and make him known—it is holiness rather than happiness because
satisfaction in Christ seeks the Lord’s pleasure rather than our own (i.e.,
satisfaction in Christ transcends pleasure because it is founded on
something/someone deeper than mere momentary human gratification).
Another
gospel-opposing point teaches that people must love themselves before they are
able to love others. The reality, nonetheless, is that people may only
experience true love by knowing the love of God. Any attempt to love others
prior to such an experience is a futile endeavor, for God is love and all love
is derived from him. No one has greater love than Christ who laid down his life
for his people (John 15:13).
Further
opposing the gospel, self-love teaches that loving oneself is the key to peace,
contentment, confidence, and freedom. Nevertheless, only Jesus provides true
peace, which transcends understanding and temporary pleasure. Gospel-oriented
love contrasts the ways of the world and often does not make sense to the world
(1 Cor 1:18, 23) because God’s economy diametrically combats what the world
presents. Although, Christ-honoring love, in no way, suggests that people
should hate themselves, it does call God’s people to come and die and follow
Christ at the expense of their own self-seeking ways. Nonetheless, Jesus is
better than anything the world could offer.
Self-love
also says that the best person to love is self. Christ-exalting love, however,
says that God loves his people more than they could ever love themselves so
Christians must rest and find contentment in the love of God.
Self-love
says to know your worth. In reality, the gospel says that life is sacred
because God has uniquely made all people. While humanity deserves the
extremities of God’s wrath, he offers mercy so a firm realization of 1) what
people deserve and 2) what Christians receive should foster an attitude of
gratefulness.
Self-love
says that our bodies are vessels, which obliges maintenance. The gospel submits
that a person’s body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so we should honor God
with ours.[4]
Further, self-love advocates celebrating human flaws because such weaknesses make us who we are. Self-love says, “I celebrate my flaws because they make me who I am.” A gospel-minded orientation, nevertheless, realizes that although sinners by nature, our sin dishonors God and keeps us from living in our new nature. Scripture teaches that Christ is strong when we are weak (2 Cor 12:9). Such a concept, however, does not rationalize an avowal of sin’s boast but rather a display of Christ’s strength. Believers then are to boast only in Christ, for he is unremittingly sanctifying his people (2 Cor 3:18, Phil 1:6) and making them into his likeness (Rom 8:29). Sin is nothing about which to brag—only that Christ has redeemed his people despite their sin and weakness. The boast then is in Christ.
The Christian Worldview Should Realize
the Evil of Self-Love
These
are the comparisons between a self-love and a Christ-honoring love. Within its
essence, the worldly promotion of self-love is self-seeking, hedonistic (and
not in a way that seeks self-satisfaction in Christ), and adversative to the
gospel of Jesus Christ. While at face value, self-love might seem to run
parallel to the gospel, the idea truly opposes Christian fundamentals.
Believers are not to seek self-pleasure except that it is only found in Christ.
Self-love then is the antithesis of the gospel. May God’s people rid themselves
of any falsity that claims the promotion of themselves more than that of the
Lord.
“Oh, God,
the protector of all who trust in you, without whom nothing is strong, nothing
is holy: increase and multiply upon us your mercy; that, with you as our ruler
and guide, we may so pass through things temporal, that we lose not the things
eternal, through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the
Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.”[5]
[1]
Even suggestions that a loving God would not send an innocent person to hell
falls short because such a person does not exist, and the gospel message
teaches and realizes this truth.
[2] It
should be noted that the opposite of self-love is not low self-esteem, which is
itself selfish and self-centered. Rather, Christ-honoring love understands the
twofold reality of humanity’s utter and debased depravity and the unmerited
mercy of God; additionally, Christ-honoring love chooses to boast not in self
but in Christ and understands that the only reason Christians may stand before
the Father is the mediation of Christ.
[3] Hedonism
is a philosophical doctrine proposing that pleasure and happiness are the
supreme good and ultimate aims of human life. It advocates maximizing pleasure
and minimizing pain, serving as the foundation for ethical theories like
utilitarianism. John Piper has proposed the idea of Christian hedonism in which
pleasure is still sought by humanity but only as it is found in Jesus Christ.
Such an idea is derived from the Westminster Shorter Catechism, which teaches,
“Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever” (WSC Q. 1).
[4]
For this to be true, one must belong to Christ; otherwise, the Holy Spirit does
not indwell within him or her.
[5]
“Sunday Closest to July 27,” The Lectionary Page, July 10, 2026, https://www.lectionarypage.net/YearA_RCL/Pentecost/AProp10_RCL.html.
